Day 3 of "The 10 Days and Nights Until New Year!" — celebrating the extraordinary talents of independent restaurant AND bar teams during the biggest trading period of the year.
What You'll Learn
By the end of this, you'll:
- Get why remembering customers pays off (it can lead to a serious increase in spending!) and how to use a contextual memory system
- Learn how to use an "End-of-Night Ritual" to make remembering names and faces a team effort, not just something a few people are good at
- See how being good at remembering details can help you in job interviews, with your partner, with your kids, and even as a leader.
The Scene: 5 PM, Christmas Eve
The Falconer's phone rang at 4:47 PM.
"Hi, it's James from Hartley & Partners. Really sorry, but we need to cancel our booking tonight. The office party's moved to London."
Jen, the bar manager, winced. Ten covers. On Christmas Eve. And no cancellation fee, because "they're a good client."
"No problem at all," she said, already planning to add festive cancellation fees to next year's policy. Honestly, some people!
She'd barely put the phone down when the door swung open.
And kept swinging.
By 5:30 PM, The Falconer was packed with people who hadn't booked a thing. Families crammed in. Old school mates catching up. Uni students back for the holidays. Couples who'd driven for hours to be home for Christmas.
Christmas Eve isn't usually big for restaurants – everyone's saving themselves for the big day. But it’s the biggest night of the year for bars.
And every single one of those people expected to be remembered.
The Talent: A Good Memory
In hospitality, remembering customers isn't just good manners – it's good business.
Research consistently proves that regulars who feel genuinely remembered spend over four times as much as those who feel like just another face. They hang around longer, bring their mates, and are more forgiving if you mess up their order.
But Christmas Eve really puts your memory to the test.
Because Christmas Eve is when everyone comes home.
The Remembering Game
At 6:15 PM, a young woman walked in with her boyfriend.
Jen's brain whirred. Blonde, mid-twenties, a familiar smile. The face didn't quite ring a bell.
Then it hit her.
"Sophie! Wow, it's been ages – you're the spitting image of your mum. How is she?"
Sophie grinned. "You remember me?"
Sophie had been a teenager last time she'd been in The Falconer – trailing behind her mum, glued to her phone. Now she was 26, back from Edinburgh for Christmas, with a boyfriend she clearly wanted to impress.
"Your mum still comes in every Thursday," Jen said. "She'll be thrilled you're here. Usual spot by the fire, or somewhere different?"
That's the trick: not just remembering names, but remembering the context. Who someone used to be. How they've changed. What's important to them.
The Cancellation Lesson
That ten-top no-show cost The Falconer about £400 in food prep and lost revenue. Ouch.
Here's what smart pub owners figured out ages ago: festive bookings need cancellation fees.
Not to punish people, but to protect yourself.
A simple £10-a-head deposit, lost if you cancel less than 48 hours before, turns a disaster into a minor annoyance. People who are serious about coming don't mind. And the ones who were going to flake out anyway will think twice.
If you're not charging cancellation fees for festive bookings, you're missing a trick. Trust me, the pubs that learned this the hard way never forget it.
From Behind the Bar to Real Life
Having a good memory isn't just useful in hospitality. It's one of the best skills you can have, full stop.
Job interviews: Remembering everyone's name and job title, mentioning something from your chat with HR earlier, or dropping in a detail from a recent company announcement shows you're paying attention.
Relationships: Being present means remembering what your partner told you weeks ago about their annoying colleague, their sister's wedding, or their worry about that dentist appointment. It shows you actually listen.
Parenting: Remembering that project deadline your kid mentioned, their friendship problems, or what they're hoping to do this weekend shows you see them as a person, not just someone you have to look after.
Leadership: Knowing the names of everyone's kids, their career goals, or what motivates each team member shows you value them as individuals, not just for what they do.
The Science Bit
Your working memory – the bit that holds info temporarily – can only handle so much. About seven things, give or take.
But hospitality pros develop something different: a contextual memory system. Names linked to faces, linked to what they like, linked to their relationships, linked to their stories.
It's not about trying to memorise everything. It's about making connections.
Sophie isn't just "Sophie." She's "Margaret's daughter who comes in on Thursdays, used to be glued to her phone, now lives in Edinburgh."
Each bit of context helps you remember her better. And you can train your brain to do this.
Training Your Team's Memory
The End-of-Night Ritual
Before you lock up, spend three minutes on memory work:
- New faces: Who came in for the first time tonight? What did you learn about them?
- Updates: What's new with your regulars? New job? New partner? Feeling poorly? Celebrating something?
- Next time: What will you remember when you see them again?
Doing this regularly makes remembering names and faces a team skill, not just something a few people are good at.
The Remembering System
Some pubs use clever tricks:
- Jotting down notes in the reservation book about what people like and what they've told you
- Giving the team a quick heads-up before a busy time: "The Hendersons are coming in – remember their son just got engaged!"
- Running a "regular recognition" training session for new staff
The best systems are subtle enough that customers don't notice, but are well-organised behind the scenes.
The Payoff
By 8 PM, The Falconer had made up for that cancelled booking three times over.
Sophie and her boyfriend stayed until closing time, introducing him to loads of her parents' friends. ("This is Mark. We met at uni. He's never had a proper Christmas Eve in a proper pub before.")
A group of old uni mates who hadn't seen each other since graduation took over the back corner, ordering round after round, because "this is where we always used to come."
A dad brought his grown-up kids – all home from different cities – to "show you where I used to bring your mum before you were born."
None of them had booked.
All of them felt remembered.
That's the funny thing about Christmas Eve hospitality: the cancellation stung, but what filled the gap was even better. Because walk-ins who feel remembered become regulars. And regulars who feel remembered become your biggest fans.
At midnight, Jen locked up and tapped a note into her phone: "Add 10% Christmas Eve cancellation deposit to 2026 policy."
Some lessons you only need to learn once.
What To Do Next
This Week
Start the End-of-Night Ritual tonight: Who came in for the first time? What did you learn about regulars? What will you remember next time you see each person? Just three minutes before closing.
This Month
Get your Recognition System sorted – whether it's notes in the reservation book, a quick team briefing, or a shared document. Make remembering customers part of your routine, not just a happy accident.
Keep At It
Practice Contextual Association: When you meet someone new, try to remember three things about them. Not just "Sarah" but "Sarah-Margaret's-daughter-who-comes-in-on-Thursdays-and-lives-in-Edinburgh." The more you connect, the easier it is to remember.
Think About This
Before you move on, ask yourself:
- Personal Experience: Think of a time someone remembered something important about you. How did it make you feel, and how did it affect your relationship with them?
- Real Life: Who in your life – a colleague, family member, friend – would appreciate you remembering something they told you weeks ago? What was it?
- Your Plan: What's one thing you'll do differently this week to get better at remembering details?
Tomorrow in "The 10 Days and Nights Until New Year!": Radical Adaptability — when the head chef calls in sick on Christmas morning and the sous chef has to take charge.
About this series: The 10 Days and Nights Until New Year! celebrates the talents that make independent restaurant AND bar teams brilliant, and the life skills they pick up along the way. From December 22nd to December 31st, we're looking at one key hospitality skill each day.
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